A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology showed that lonely people underestimate the importance of caring for their loved ones, leading to a decline in the quality of relationships and an increase in loneliness.
The psychological, emotional, and physical effects of loneliness, which is the distress caused by a perceived lack of quality in one’s social relationships, are profound. Previous research indicates that loneliness promotes greater sensitivity to social threats and negative biases in social perception.
Edward P. LeMay Jr. and his colleagues focused on examining the perceptions that biases can create in close relationships such as romantic partners, friends, and family members, and how these stereotypes may account for the irregular and long-lasting nature of loneliness.
These authors proposed that “despite the level of care and responsiveness shown by a lonely person, he or she may have a negative bias that can undermine the overall sense of satisfaction, intimacy, and support, thereby impairing the basic structure of the relationship, enabling an inappropriate cycle of loneliness and increasing feelings of care towards the person with whom the relationship was manipulated”.
In Study 1, a group of 255 undergraduate students identified three close relationship partners (family members, friends, romantic partners) and invited participants to rate their “respect and care” for the student (topics included in Research Paper 108, Inventory, Inventory-like Relationships, Inventory and Trust Program, 2006, Inventory and Reward Program, 2016). They completed questionnaires (e.g. loneliness scale) and assessed (presented) their measures of expressing their own feelings of loneliness, kindness, or receptivity to each partner (who felt) that they were cared for.
A two-week study was used to capture data from 236 romantic couples who completed the same self-report measures. Each partner was also requested to nominate two friends who were familiar with their relationship so that they could independently assess their relationship and its members’ feelings toward their partner.
This study also included a daily diary component, where participants wrote about their loneliness, perceptions of their partner’s respect and caring, and daily relationship dynamics.
Over a two-week period, Study 3 monitored 211 romantic couples through daily surveys, partner reports, and behavioral observations.
Participants expressed their feelings of loneliness and the perceived benefits of their partner’s caring, while partners provided their own assessments. Trained observers rated the responsiveness of their recorded interactions to determine the effectiveness of their responses.
All three studies revealed a clear and pervasive negative bias in people’s perceptions of their close relationship partners’ respect and caring, resulting in loneliness.
Study 1 found an association between loneliness and less appreciative and caring perceptions of family members, friends, and romantic partners. This resulted in negatively biased perceptions due to a lack of evidence of perceived respect and caring from the partner.
Individuals living alone tended to underestimate the true extent of their close ones’ love and commitment to their relationships, and this bias was associated with lower relationship satisfaction, commitment, and willingness to provide support. Individuals living alone affected these outcomes more through perceived respect and caring than actual partner behavior.
Results from Study 2 demonstrated that in a negative diary, loneliness predicted declines in perceptions of partner respect and caring in romantic relationships.
Results from Study 3 demonstrated that loneliness in perceived partner respect over time were expected independently from partners’ self-reports and objective observer assessments. Even when observers rated partners as supportive, loneliness caused participants to underestimate their partners’ responsiveness, which they perceived as the cause of prolonged loneliness.
The findings can inform actions to end the cycle of loneliness by addressing inappropriate assumptions and promoting healthy relationship dynamics.
The work “How loneliness is attenuated and perpetuated over time: The importance of perceived respect and caring” was co-written by Edward P. LeMay Jr., Jennifer Cutri and Nadya Teneva.